Emotional Regulation and Behaviour in Early Years Children

Emotional Regulation and Behaviour in Early Years Children

Emotional regulation is the ability to recognise, understand, and manage feelings in a healthy way. In early childhood, this is very much a work in progress. Young children often experience big emotions but don’t yet have the tools to express or control them. So instead, we often see those feelings come out through behaviour — sometimes loudly, sometimes messily, and often at the most inconvenient times!

For parents, this can be both challenging and confusing. But underneath it all, behaviour is usually communication.

What Does Emotional Regulation Look Like in Early Years?

In the early years, children are still learning how to make sense of their emotions. Their brains are developing quickly, but self-control skills are still “under construction”.

You might notice things like:

• Big tantrums over small frustrations
• Struggling to wait their turn or share
• Getting overwhelmed easily in busy environments
• Difficulty putting feelings into words
• Clinginess or strong reactions to separation

These moments are not signs of “bad behaviour” — they are signs of developing skills. Every wobble is part of the learning process.

Why Emotional Regulation Matters

Being able to manage emotions helps children thrive in so many areas of life. It supports how they:

• Build friendships and play with others
• Handle disappointment and change
• Communicate their needs clearly
• Focus and engage in learning
• Grow in confidence and independence

Children who are gradually supported to manage their emotions tend to feel more secure and ready to take on new experiences, including starting school.

The Role of High-Quality Nurseries

High-quality nurseries are like emotional training grounds — in the best possible way! They provide a safe, structured environment where children can learn how to understand and manage feelings with the support of skilled adults.

In a strong early years setting, children benefit from:

• Warm, secure relationships with key adults who help them feel safe and understood
• Consistent routines, so children know what to expect (which reduces anxiety and meltdowns!)
• Emotion coaching, where practitioners name feelings like “frustrated,” “sad,” or “excited”
• Gentle guidance during conflict, helping children learn turn-taking, sharing, and problem-solving
• Calm, consistent responses to behaviour, rather than reactive or inconsistent reactions
• Play-based learning, where children explore feelings through role play, stories, and imagination

These everyday moments help children slowly build the tools they need to regulate their emotions more independently.

What Parents Can Do at Home (Small Steps, Big Impact!)

The good news? You don’t need fancy resources — just everyday moments and a bit of patience (plus maybe a strong cup of tea ☕).

Try:

• Naming feelings in real time: “I can see you’re really cross right now”
• Reading stories about emotions and talking about characters’ feelings
• Keeping routines predictable (children love knowing what comes next)
• Offering simple choices (“red cup or blue cup?”) to build control
• Praising effort: “You calmed down so well just now!”
• Staying calm where possible — your calm helps their calm

Children learn emotional regulation by watching the adults around them, so your responses really do matter.

Final Thoughts

Emotional regulation is a skill that takes time, practice, and a lot of repetition. Behaviour is rarely “just behaviour” — it’s usually a child trying to express something they don’t yet have the words for.

With warmth, consistency, and support from both home and high-quality nursery settings, children gradually learn how to understand their feelings and respond to them in healthier ways.

And remember — even the big, dramatic moments are all part of growing up and learning how to navigate this very big world.